WORDS: 422 — I feel like we are all in a cascade of never ending events across the board… rising like the flood waters similar to those expected to inundate California in the near future…. the events engulfing us and we are uncontrollably swirling in the maelstrom of a giant whirlpool, like we are all being flushed down a black hole to some unknown outcome across the void. I find myself saying to myself… “Look, if this is how it’s going to be then let’s get on with it. The suspense is too much. Bring on the zombies!”
There’s so much idiocy, discontent, hypocrisy, and topsy-turvy going on everyday that I just don’t feel like posting a thing. I just sit and watch… letting it flow over me like a blast of foul air that continues. It’s the sense of impending doom that could come from a myriad of directions… and I don’t mean the kind of doom we feared during the Cold War (although that kind of “doom” does rattle about). A high school buddy of mine living in Phoenix, recently retired, bought himself one of those 5th wheel trailer “Taj Mahal-on-wheels” things. When I asked him if there was any money left to pass down to his heirs he said he didn’t care because he wanted to see the country before the country goes to shit… in whatever form that shit reveals itself to be. I dunno.. I don’t feel the urge to commune with nature all that much these days.
This bothers me because in general I am an optimist by nature. Now, I know this is an emotional phase I am traveling through… not so much a kind of writer’s block as it is a feeling of dread, and I am having trouble reading events objectively (although there are some online who would say that’s my norm). It’s a funk inspired by a loss of caring because I care too much.
Maybe I do need to travel somewhere and hug a tree overlooking a mountain range, given I have greater confidence in their survival, and I envy their ability to not give a damn about human presence. In fact, to the trees our human presence is just a temporary passage of time.
I’ve also never been this old before.. so this also has its own impact on my daily emotional meanderings. But.. so far… I do have my health. Maybe that’s all I need to regain focus. Yep, genetics (or Divine intervention) is the impetus. I need to build on that.